betrayal

I feel like I just betrayed a friend ... Chanel No. 2 is in the history books. I sold her today at the office to a secretary that I work with. My hands feel stained with guilt and remorse.

In photos this one was not as cute or attractive as the first puppy (Chanel No. 1, now named Abbey), but in person, this dog was all charm and charisma. She happily licked the hands and face of every person who came and touched her, and sat quietly in our laps, perfectly content to rest in the warmth of any willing crotch. We taught her tricks, watched her play with her toys, fell in love with her cute ways. So what's the problem, you say? Why get rid of a perfectly good puppy?

Did I mention my wife is bipolar and OCD? She had a love/hate relationship with the dog. It was the cutest little thing to ever come into our lives, and yet it was a seething evil little source of defecation, microbes and bacteria that she could not tolerate in the house. We obsessively wiped its paws, butt, and any other part of her that might have come into contact with the ground with baby wipes every time we took her out and brought her back in. It was an enterprise doomed from the get-go as evidenced by the first one, and yet she had gone and ordered a second one.

I gave this dog ten days max. I was wrong. V. wanted to sell the dog within one day after bringing it home. Yet this one didn't go as easily as the first one. We put her up on craigslist and got nothing but lowballers and non-serious inquiries. Ten days went by, then fourteen. Yeah she's cute, but how many people have $900 to buy a dog? We really lucked out on selling the first one so quick. This one, we had for nearly 3 weeks. We dropped the price to $700. V. even took the puppy to her office and let a coworker take her for a "test drive" for one night. Still no buyer. V. pleaded with me for help in selling No. 2. And today, on day 20, I took her to my office for the first and last time.

Like I said before, the photos didn't do her justice. I knew she didn't look that great in pictures, but I knew in person she would win over so many hearts with her charming personality. I waited patiently for the right moment to showcase her. And today was the day -- Bring your Children to Work Day. The office was swarming with young children, and it was generally understood that very little work was going to get done with all the ruckus going on. From the moment I walked into the office with Chanel in my arms, it was a neverending parade of ooohs and aaahs. Every secretary, admin assistant, and girl in the building was begging to take her for a walk around the halls and hold her. I put two of my coworker's kids in charge of watching over her and taking her out for the day, and watched as they ran all across the office with her, attracting attention everywhere they went. And all the women, who looked at the photo I had emailed around and said "cute, but not cute enough to take home", now seeing No.2 in the flesh, they were charmed and bewitched, fallen under this little doggie's spell.

One of the secretaries approached me about the dog. She thought $700 was too high. I said that we were losing money at that price already, and didn't want to go lower. She offered $600. I said I would check with my wife. After a quick call, we agreed that $600 was too low. I told her my wife was firm on the price, and she could think about it some more and let me know.

Next thing I know, my coworker comes over to my office, saying that the secretary was fuming mad at me, furious that I not come down to her price. She really wanted to take this puppy home tonight. How could I be so callous and inflexible? She was making me out as some kind of a monster. I went back to her and explained that it was my wife's decision, and not mine. I didn't want her to think I was playing hardball and putting it on my wife. I encouraged her to call V. directly to see if she could be persuaded to come down on the price. Things were getting downright tense there for a while and I had to defuse the situation, show her that I was not the bad guy. I felt like a car salesman there for a while. Sleazy and unscrupulous.

They talked, and agreed to meet halfway at $650. Done deal. Chanel's new mommy handed me a check, and I held her one more time, took off her name tag to bring home to Evil-ex-Mommy, and passed her and her toys on to the new owner. She said she likes the name Chanel but might rename her to something else. She likes calling her Angel. That seems appropriate.

I am a daddy no more. All I have to show for three weeks of fatherhood is her pink dog tag and the secretary's check. I don't know if I have the heart to deposit it tonight.